Spiritually speaking, I missed my gratitude journal more than one night. But I don't feel guilty about it. It is a guilt free journal. I am not bound to write in it every night. It won't be angry at me if I forget. Knowing this allows me to pick up where I left off without getting frustrated at how many days I have missed which usually leads to me feeling like I can never catch up and so I just quit. But not now. Now, I write what I am grateful when I remember.
In the mean time though, God has been working on me.
There is a situation that has come up (that mountain I spoke of here) that has not been resolved yet. Every time the phone rings my stomach drops to my toes. When I think about it I get a massive lump in my throat. But I know that is not how God wants me to live my life. I've heard people say before that you have to give things to God not once, but sometimes daily, or in my case - sometimes by the minute. And so many times a day I find myself crying out to God and asking Him to show us what is next. And to provide peace and the right words. And to help me not throw up. Because I want to. And I find myself praying for my enemies. That is hard. Because there is a (huge) part of me that doesn't believe that God can change them. Yet I pray that God will soften their hearts anyways. Because I want to believe that He will. Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!
And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears,
Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
And if you want to read something that far exceeds my abilities on the subject of understanding the dark, visit InCourage to read what my friend Angie has to say. You won't regret it!